This Breakfast Glop May Never Be Cool and That’s Okay

The human instinct to eat sludge for breakfast must be biological, written somewhere into our DNA. Morning mush appears in one form or another across cultures and flavor profiles, aesthetics, and tax brackets: gruel on one end of the spectrum, chia pudding parfaits on the other. The category glows with an aura of health and ease; if your algorithm is so attuned, the internet will tell you when a cool new goop enters the chat. We seem to have unlimited capacity for the stuff, the goopier the better. But my favorite of the bunch straight up refuses to have a moment.